THIS IS THE CATCALL HALL OF FAME.

Street courting rears it's ugly, unintentionally hilarious head once again, as we knew it would. You know the saying: if you don't laugh, you'll go on a homicidal killing spree. Wait, that's not it? Silly me, I must be so busy being pretty that I just forgot. Whoops!

For posterity:

Me: Digging through bag for cellphone at subway stop near home.

Dude: Conspiratorially and uncomfortably near as he comes up the stairs: Hey, beautiful stranger.

Pause for groans and the gnashing of teeth.

Dude: Can't even say hey back?

Me: Hey. With goofy fucking smile that involuntarily appears due to the absurdity of times like these.

Dude: Approaching with renewed energy. How are you? What's your name?

Me: Silence.

Dude: Too tired to talk?

Me: I'm exhausted. Searching desperately for phone.

Dude: Simultaneously saying: Come on, what's your name? Can I give you my number? Would you call?

Me: No.

Dude: I don't see no ring on your finger.

Me: I have a boyfriend (a completely necessary lie). Phone found, begin walking away.

Dude: Really? You've gotta be kidding me.

Me: Yeah. Shrug, walk faster away.

Him: Calling after me. What about a man friend?

This shit happens every. damn. day.