Street courting rears it's ugly, unintentionally hilarious head once again, as we knew it would. You know the saying: if you don't laugh, you'll go on a homicidal killing spree. Wait, that's not it? Silly me, I must be so busy being pretty that I just forgot. Whoops!

For posterity:

Me: Digging through bag for cellphone at subway stop near home.

Dude: Conspiratorially and uncomfortably near as he comes up the stairs: Hey, beautiful stranger.

Pause for groans and the gnashing of teeth.

Dude: Can't even say hey back?

Me: Hey. With goofy fucking smile that involuntarily appears due to the absurdity of times like these.

Dude: Approaching with renewed energy. How are you? What's your name?

Me: Silence.

Dude: Too tired to talk?

Me: I'm exhausted. Searching desperately for phone.

Dude: Simultaneously saying: Come on, what's your name? Can I give you my number? Would you call?

Me: No.

Dude: I don't see no ring on your finger.

Me: I have a boyfriend (a completely necessary lie). Phone found, begin walking away.

Dude: Really? You've gotta be kidding me.

Me: Yeah. Shrug, walk faster away.

Him: Calling after me. What about a man friend?

This shit happens every. damn. day.


  1. oh boy. not quite so hilarious. walk fast. stay safe.

  2. Your use of the phrase "street courting" just about made my life.

    (By the way, thanks for the shout-out last week. Seriously made me happy.)